This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
