My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
