Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
