Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
