I'm jealous of your bromance
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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