My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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