I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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