I am in a vortex of obligation.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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