I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The adults are the big ones right?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
