p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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