Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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