you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
