My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
