He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
