haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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