is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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