I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
