Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
