I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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