Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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