Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am midnight drunk by noon
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
