Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
