try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
