You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize