Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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