somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Bring me that man meat
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
