after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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