It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
