i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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