He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
