Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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