Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
