I love black thongs
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
