I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
