I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
