This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
