I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
