careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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