I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize