no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
