You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
