Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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