how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
