We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
