Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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