Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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