Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
