Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
