let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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