no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
