Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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