I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
