So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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