Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
