Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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