you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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