i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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