Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
