At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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