just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
