last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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