Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
